Target Practice
by I.Dream.Of.Hardyz
Summary: In which Amir platonically tries to buy Jaz roses. It doesn't go so well.


**The other night it came up on Twitter what would happen if someone brought Jaz flowers. And because I work in a flower shop and I'm exhausted this week because of the holiday, I needed a little stress relief in that of writing said encounter. I took a little liberty in the characters here-I'm not sure if any of this would ever go down, but I love Amir/McG banter and them at each other's throats (playfully of course), and I think Jaz would react in that way. Poor Amir always tries to do the right thing, and so here we are.**

 **This one is for you, Leensey. ;)**

 **PeaceLoveJaz**

* * *

Amir had gone out for a morning jog after completing what his team mates declared a successful and delicious breakfast—Preach in those words, Dalton with a slight nod and smile, Jaz something eerily similar, and a loud moan by McG with a smirk. He was pleased that Preach said he and McG would clean up, to go enjoy himself. What did not surprise him was Jaz with the eldest team member instead of the tallest. He hung back, taking his time to stretch, overhearing their conversation in the meantime.

"Are you getting roses for your wife? Valentines Day is only a few weeks away." She nudged the smirking man on the side.

He snorted, "Between my girls and her, I'd be a broke man, Jaz. Do you know how much they jack up the prices on roses during the holiday?" He placed a clean plate on the counter, shaking his head. "No, I will not be sending her flowers for Valentines Day. A wise man," he started, giving her a wink, "Would wait until a few days later and pick some up when they go back down."

She laughed loudly at the comment, slipping her hands into the sink. "Such a wise man you are," she mused.

He paused, "How about you, Jaz? Any man buying you roses?"

There was a noise outside, and Amir went to look to see what crashed, missing the next two minutes of the conversation. He reentered the room, to hear Jaz say, "So obviously, I need roses. And no one ever gets me flowers for Valentines Day."

He tilted his head to the side—Jaz was full of surprises, usually dangerous ones that could hurt everyone around them (reason to be glad to be on her side of things) but he never would've thought she'd like flowers. The thought deepened in his mind as he walked past them, Jaz making a snide, but playful comment about him being sweaty, while Preach only stared, and he wondered if maybe he could make her holiday. They were on better terms than when they first met—he could never figure out why she seemed to resent him so much, and they almost had a friendship going. Maybe buying the woman flowers was what would solidify that. He loved his team mates, but sans Preach they were all a little hardheaded. They would never think to do such thing. He decided that would make him different.

Flash-forward two weeks later, and he was downtown near the base in which they resided on deployment, trying to decide what sort of roses to get. The holiday had passed, and they'd been on two relatively fast and normal missions. He didn't even get shot at on the last one! The flower shop was small—much smaller than the ones back home he was used to in the city. He also found it hard to move around because of the size—everything was piled on top of each other. The woman in the shop on the other hand was very helpful, asking what he was looking for, how much he wanted to spend, and if the woman he was buying them for had a favorite color and flower.

He felt alarmed that he didn't know the answer. What was Jaz's favorite flower? Did she even have one? All women liked roses, didn't they? He mused over it as the woman chatted in broken English in his ear—he wanted to speak in her native language but she insisted in English. Finally, she elbowed him, "Must be a special woman."

"Oh—oh no! No no! It's not like that. She's… she's my team mate. I uh, I'm not interested in her in that way. We're friends. Very good friends."

The woman looked unconvinced. "You buy flowers for just a friend?"

"You say that like it's uncommon."

She smiled teasingly, "It is, young man."

He only shook his head another time, deciding on a set of yellow roses with fiery tips of orange and red, curly leaves covering the bottom half. He gave her a nervous smile, now a bit on edge and asked if she could wrap them up. She did as she was asked, fluffing the roses up with babies breath and greenery, her eyes catching his every now and again. She was convinced he had a crush—and it really wasn't like that. Oh no, if she even thought that, Jaz would kick his ass. And he was a man who was afraid of very little—but Jaz was one of those things.

"Here," she said lightly. "Tell her enjoy them. I'm sure she will."

She made a face that made his ears turn pink and ran from the shop before any other comments could be said. Then, he hurried down the street and returned to the base with a smile, knowing now he could do what he intended. Jaz didn't get flowers because she was surrounded by men who never thought to bring her any. She was an equal to him, and he would never see her as any less, but she could still enjoy some degree of femininity despite that.

He was quiet as he entered their area of the base, stopping when he heard the team in the kitchen area joking around. He hadn't wanted an audience, but whatever. They would all feel dumb when he came in with flowers on Valentines Day!

He turned the corner and stopped short, seeing everyone's eyes land on his. With a goofy smile, he handed the bouquet directly to Jaz, who stared at him like he handed her a bomb.

"What the hell is this?"

His smile fell. That was not the reaction he was expecting. Almost immediately, Preach and Dalton—eyebrows raised—left the area, but McG stayed where he sat, a huge smirk on his face with his arms crossed. Why was everyone—?

"Flowers," he stated, trying to understand why she would not take the bouquet of flowers from him.

She finally did, holding them as if they were foreign, awkwardly at the very end so that the tops wobbled in her shaky hand. She glanced at him and then seemingly at the disappearing team, and he knew something had been lost in translation.

Amir, master at languages, was at a loss for words.

Finally, he sputtered, "You told Preach you loved roses!"

"What? No I didn't!"

"You did! I overheard you!" he defended.

She raised an eyebrow. "When? Were you eavesdropping?"

He was growing impatient, and he didn't understand what he missed. "Two weeks ago. You asked him if he was getting his wife roses. Then you said you loved roses and that no one else ever got them for you."

Jaz's eyes could not be wider if they tried.

In that moment, his fellow male team mate cracked up. "Oh God, this is too good. Someone make popcorn."

Amir glared at the tall medic.

On the other hand, Jaz's expression only grew more bewildered. "For a man who is great at reading people, I'm more than concerned that you missed the sarcasm in that statement." She placed the roses onto the table beside her, shaking her head. "Dude, I don't like roses." At his defeated expression, and McG howling in the background from laughter, her expression softened just a bit. "I mean…" she sighed, picking them back up. She tried to place them to her face and breath in, but it made her sneeze instead.

"I thought maybe they reminded you of something back home, and I wanted to do something nice." He didn't know what else to say. He knew she was trying hard not to be insulting, which he appreciated, but he felt like an idiot. And his ridiculous medic in the background still watching and doubled over from laughter didn't help anything.

She offered a strangled smile. "They are a nice color."

"But you don't like them."

"I appreciate the gesture," she finally decided. "But I'm allergic. That was what I said seconds before I made the joke."

"Oh great," he groaned. "I thought all women love roses."

Jaz grinned, "All women but me."

"You would be the exception," he muttered. There was a silence, only enough time for McG to howl in the background again. "And now what do I do with them? You're allergic. I don't want to make you sneeze all day."

She turned around, facing McG who finally stopped laughing. She smirked, one side of her mouth curling. "I bet you could shove them up his ass."

He placed his hands in the air, alarmed by the statement. "What? I didn't do anything!"

"You're being a dick," she said simply. "At least Amir tried to do something nice. You ditched me two weeks ago and made me do your dishes."

Amir chuckled, and Jaz high-fived him.

"I didn't even do anything and yet I'm the one in trouble…" he muttered, giving them both a look as he left the room. Jaz picked up the roses and gave him a slight smile.

"I can throw them out," he offered.

She shook her head. "It's okay. I have another idea."

A few minutes later, she returned holding one of her guns and the roses.

He stared at her quizzically. "Where are you going?"

She gave him a wide smile, "To the gun range."

Silence.

"Target practice."


End file.
